you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
