He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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