Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
