Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
