this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
