i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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