White coat. Heels.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
