Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
