another moral hangover. fuck.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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