did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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