ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
