the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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