I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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