pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
