physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
