so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Floor bacon is actually really good
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
