We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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