he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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