i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
