i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
