I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
