32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
