i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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