i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
