that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
