dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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