God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
