Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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