Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
