he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
