whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
