Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
