The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
