The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
