before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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