I wanna passion pit in your ass
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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