im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
