but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
