I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
