like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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