I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
