Buhtt sex?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
