Got a toothbrush?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
