YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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