This dress was meant to end up on your floor
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
