You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
