when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
