If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
