We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
