i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
