WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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