i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
please come you make the beer taste better
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
