if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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