i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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