i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
