i just had sex bonerless
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
