I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
