He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
