Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
