his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
