Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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