He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
