Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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